Losing 100 lbs – an act of conscious creation

I created something over the past few months. A powerful act of conscious creation.

I lost 105 lbs in weight (47 kgs or 7.5 stone) from 320 lbs to 215. From size 4XL to comfortably in size Large. From 42 inch pants to size 32 inch. This feels good.

But the term “I lost 105 lbs” is not how it is. I started creating a new body and a new way of being, I didn’t lose something. What made this outcome successful is that I did not set out to lose weight. That is an amazing side effect, it’s part of the equation.

What I did was to summon and become the Being of Athlete. My act of conscious creation was to create the mind, body and being of an athlete. It is by no means complete yet, nothing ever is as we are unfolding processes not fixed entities, but this measure of over 100 lbs marks marks a big milestone for me. A very tangible outcome has been created. Yes the 105 lbs lost, but so many other outcomes also, especially a passion for running. I have registered for my first race, a 25 km trail run in the mountains of Colorado. This is a major shift from the type of body I was previously creating.

I’ve been immersed into practicing conscious creation now for a few years and have developed some measure of skill with it. I’ve also been teaching what I’ve learned to my coaching clients, which has helped me hone the skill, and they are also experiencing great success in using it to create what they want in their lives.

A previous major conscious creation was to create a new experience of life where instead of experiencing anxiety and depression I experience life through joy. So after a while of really enjoying this in various ways I asked myself – what now, what major shift in the experience of life would I now like to create? And with a powerful decision I chose into creating a shift in how I experience the world through my body. I decided that I want to experience life through a body that has mobility, agility, lightness rather than immobility, heaviness and strain. This choice was finally made without judgement of what body was here now (this makes all the difference).

I chose mobility and agility. I chose to feel the snow on my face as I run through the mountains, to feel the earth and rocks under my hands and feet as I play on the ground. To feel the energy flow back and forth with the earth. To feel the wind rush past my ears as I hear the thud of my feet on the ground.

Experiences I couldn’t have in the same way before, and now I can begin to have as a result of a choice, an act of conscious creation.

At 320 lbs it is palpably ridiculous to say “I am an Athlete”. But that is only if you are confused and distracted by what is currently here. What is currently here, everything we see around us, is an echo of the past, of past choices. To create something new we must shift our attention away from recreating the past, meaning away from what you see with your eyes, towards what it is that your heart wants to create. What is to come. Which is seen in the world of vision, dreams and energy. We must cease being so distracted by what’s around us right now, which are the results of our previous creations. They only exist as long as you give them attention. Like Tinkerbell in the story of Peter Pan, whatever we stop paying attention to will die, will fall away.

There is a moment in the process of conscious creation where we make this choice into what we want. It takes some work to get clarity on what it is that we truly want, what our heart is really yearning for, and then we must choose into it. Powerfully.

Hint: if you are wanting to lose weight, what you really want is not losing weight. It might be:

  • intimacy – a transformation in our relationship with other beings, and our experience of love, coming closer to other humans, allowing them to come closer to us without shame
  • affection – allowing others to touch us closely with love and care
  • serenity – the peace that I feel now just walking around in clothes, and in relation to food is absolutely transformative, entirely different from the cacophony of voices that was there before
  • mobility – feeling the energy of my being and of the earth play and exchange with each other as I move is incredibly beautiful and powerful
  • agility – feeling the structure of my body so differently now than before, holding myself up as I twist and turn and walk and run
  • vitality – a more free flow of energy through our body as the various systems work with less obstruction

These are what it was for me. You will have your own heart-yearning but I’d guess that at least some of these are part of it if you are looking to lose weight. Connecting to what your real want is, this is key. Identifying this, bringing clarity to it, refining it down to the simple forms is what will make it powerful. Losing weight is not what you want. What is it that you really want?

Answer this, make sure it’s true, and then put your attention on it. All your attention. Whenever you get distracted, forgetful, confused – come back to it. Come back to what it is that you want.

After that, our only job is to stay conscious to the unfolding process that flows from this vision. Allow the unfolding to happen rather than blocking it because of being distracted by what we see around us.

What does allowing look like? For me it includes:

  • Training is part of Being Athlete, so it’s what I do, I researched and chose a training plan, brought it into my life, and follow it.
  • Running is part of this Being of Athlete for me, and so it’s what I do. I could allow myself to be distracted by a big heavy body not being a runner, but instead I allowed myself to begin by walking, then run 30 seconds, then 1 minute. This was not easy, it was very hard, but I absolutely enjoyed the friction of engaging with the world. Moving this heavy body through the world in the rain and snow of Vermont.  Now I am enjoying running 8 or 9 miles without stopping. 
  • Nutrition – fueling my body for performance – is part of Being Athlete, so I put my attention on it and run experiments, which led to losing 105lbs of weight. 
  • A healthy lifestyle is part of Being Athlete, so I focus on adopting healthy sleep practices, morning routines and other things.
  • Being in one place rather than being nomadic is supportive of training routines, and being around other people involved in active pursuits is supportive of the Being of Athlete, so I moved to Boulder, Colorado and just this weekend arrived into a new home right by the entrance to a running trail and outdoor open space.

Conscious creation works for whatever it is that you want, not just losing weight. After going through it several times now and creating some magical experiences I’ve clarified the process for myself. So, here is my algorithm for conscious creation. For each I’ve paired it with the practice that is the “how”:

Step 1: Create clarity on what your heart wants. Just for right now, not for ever.

How: Practice radical spaciousness. Stop consuming. Listen to your heart. 

Step 2: Decide what Being this is. Name it.

How: Repeat Step 1 until you feel your energy move from a decision to a powerful choice. Write down your new name.

Step 3: Choose into this Being. Summon it. Step into it.

How: Use your Conscious Attention. Practice this skill in meditation – practicing placing your attention on the breath is training you to place your attention on what you want.

Step 4: Allow your creation to unfold.

How: This looks like “doing things”, but isn’t – this is where you get to reap the beautiful experiences involved in your creation. See above for examples of allowing.

Step 5: Notice. When you forget what being you are, Notice. Then, go to Step 3.

How: Apply the skill of noticing. Also practice this skill in meditation intensely. The more you practice this skill it will pay incredible dividends in your life.

Then, at a certain point you will notice that what you wanted is now here. You can see it, you can feel it, you can smell it, you can touch it. Allow this in and realize that yes you are a divine wizard. We all are. And now you get to go back to Step 1 and choose what you want now.

Each of these steps can be a post in itself, and maybe they will be. But, as I write this I am about to go out for my long run. Looking forward so much to bringing my Being of Athlete out to the trail and playing outside – feeling the wind and cold on my skin and my feet speaking with the earth in the exchange of movement. Let’s go play!

I always love to receive messages, feedback, questions, so please let me know how you receive this, whether you find something here for you.

Wishing you peace, love, magic, joy, and play in your journey.

If you think I may be able to help you, please reach out.